Henry’s favourite place to play is in the farmyard at Lino’s, about 100 metres behind our house. It’s got it all: chickens, rabbits, belligerent geese, a whole array of farm implements, and, most importantly, the tractor. Henry loves to feed the rabbits by pushing grass through the mesh of their cage – for a long time he was convinced that all animals were herbivores and would try to force-feed grass to the dog.

The other day when we walked up to the farmyard Lino and Gianna had just killed three rabbits. The bodies were strung up on a line by their back legs, socks and gloves still on but otherwise skinned, and Gianna was in the middle of gutting them.

I hesitated. Should I accompany Henry (not yet two years old) so he can see what they were doing (this was Henry’s preference) or should we turn around and leave the blood and gore for another day? Clearly Henry’s not going to grasp the intricacies of the killing that’s just taken place. But he’s aware enough to start piecing together the connection between the rabbits in the cages and those bodies on the line. Would this be inappropriate at his age?

Following my initial instinct, I took him over and we watched Lino and Gianna work. Henry, only mildly interested, lasted a minute or two before the tractor called him away.

I didn’t think about that episode again until a few days ago when I saw a discussion on Greenpa’s blog about the right age at which to teach children about the connection between death and meat. One commenter felt strongly that 12 was the minimum age, which seems a gross underestimation of children’s powers of understanding the world. Greenpa’s son reckons it’s never too early. There was a parallel conversation going on at No Impact Man.

The entire debate is a luxury: we can pay to be disassociated from the production of our food. In my experience, where families are directly involved in the killing of their own food you’ll find children exposed to the slaughter of animals from the earliest age. Is Henry more delicate than children in rural Asia or Africa?

So what’s the answer for Tessa, Henry, and me? I think it’s never too early to make the connection between animals and the meat on your plate. Or vegetables for that matter (as Cathie points out on Becoming Domestic, the best way to get kids to like vegetables is to get them involved growing them).

However, actually witnessing the slaughter is another thing and will have to wait until Henry is old enough to discuss his feelings before, during, and after the event. While it will depend on partly on how Henry develops, I’ve got a rough figure of 8 years old in my head. One thing is certain – if we stay in Marche there won’t be any shortage of opportunities for teaching him: in a rural area like this death is pretty common, but that’s no bad thing.